Why Wait?

Why wait till the end?

Why wait till the end of class to be real with your teacher? Why wait till the end of the school year your crush you like them? Why wait till the death of a relative to be thankful for their life? Why wait till a funeral to uncover secrets? Why wait till until the end of something to fully experience it only for one moment. The end teaches what’s really important; since you know it’s coming, then why wait?

Be REAL now. LOVE hard. Tell the TRUTH. Take a RISK. Have no FEAR. ENJOY life. WORK while you have the STRENGTH. PLAY with PASSION.

But DON’T WAIT.

Do it NOW.

This message was inspired by my last class meeting of the semester with one of my professors at California Baptist University. I got the opportunity to connect with her in an open, truthful, and revealing way, that was at the same time SAFE. I got to know my her past the role of a just Teacher, but also as a Mother, a Provider, a Caretaker, a Woman, and as a human being. And in that I shared with her the pains, joys, victories and uncertain moments of life found behind the roles we all play.

Don’t wait. Live now.

Life Worth Living

I just got off the phone telling an old friend the story of how my life has changed forever.
This is what was said:

I’ll be honest, life has been a little rough. But never has it been so rewarding. I work at my church full time as the Outreach Coordinator. Do you want to know something else? I don’t get paid a dime. Yes, I’m a full time volunteer. For me it started helping out in small areas, but I believe God has called me to build not only His kingdom, but the people on this earth. I finally see what the church is all about, our function, and the help we give to the community (the world). But just because I’ve decided to follow God, and answer His call, things have NOT gotten easier.

I’ve basically said “This is it.” No going back to mom’s. No getting a gig or a job that will take me away from this church. Why? Because when I look at the homeless man who gets treated like crap by the very people we call “neighbors” in our city, I see who I used to be and the value that that person truly has. I see a church body who needs someone present in the house, and not at a job, so they can overcome depression, hopelessness, suicide and past experiences too gruesome to tell. I’m not going back to living a life for myself. I’m living selflessly.

And it’s dang hard trying to do it.

So I need your help. I don’t live an extravagant life. My jeans may have holes in them. My car is rough around the edges and simply gets me from point A to point B. And I don’t always have the luxury of filing up at the gas station. I just want to do what God has called me to do and there are so many people who are dying to have me answer that call. So I won’t go back. I do it so other people can have hope: food on the table, clothes for their children and counseling through everyday life. Rejection, loneliness and poverty are real issues. So I give my life to solve them.

You can help by donating. You make a living by what you get and a life by what you give. Your donation is what helps me actually be here to help others get what they really need to live.
To give, click this link here.

Or send your check to the address below. Let me know when you do so I can make sure it gets to the right place.

P.O. Box 30612
San Bernardino, CA 92413

You’re not just helping me, you’re helping an entire generation receive the life they need.

Thank you

Journey: January 30, 2012

On this side of the computer screen, there’s been a whole lot growth, change and reaching people.

First off, I’m officially a mentor at Kingdom Culture, working one-on-one with a high school student. Throughout the week, I pour my life into his, helping him make the best choices of his life. It’s exciting, expedient and entertaining for us as we both learn to adopt different virtues through this relationship. I enjoy the privilege of teaching him things like the importance of vision, education, how to treat a woman, the value of family, and of course music.

But I’m not here just to teach. Showing love opens the door for genuine, nurturing bonds to be established. And we all benefit. It’s a giant step in ensuing the next generation is going to be established by the good foundation set by their predecessors–us.

Secondly, I began my Master’s program and am on my way to becoming a teacher. The fun part is being in an intentional learning environment. It teaches me to recognize the school of life we experience everyday, whether it be the “Hard Knocks” or “Easy Street” curriculum. Overall, I’m ready for this new phase in my journey.

Musically, I’ve been officially challenged. Writing, learning songs, and reading notations are all new areas I explore. On this musical journey I’ve learned more about how to speak as a musician. I’m still at church every Sunday playing my heart out, but I’m learning to let my worship speak during the week as well. It pays off big time when we meet and get to know God—the healing, miracles and salvation.

Change. All this time at Kingdom Culture has brought change to people’s lives. I’ve given my life so others can have theirs. Like He said, “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Be a part of building a community of people that overcome poverty (not just financial), prostitution, and death. They get vision and have something positive for themselves to look forward to when they wake up everyday.

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. ~ Winston Churchill

Give here.

Journey, January 15, 2013

January 15, 2013

Perspective creates the world you live in. Here is an update of what I’m doing in San Bernardino

Outreach Coordinator:
I currently serve as Outreach Coordinator and last Outreach Saturday (Jan. 12, 2013) we did a “Field Goal Outreach” where we went out to homes in the community to help people meet their goals 2013. We made “Goal Keeper” cards to give to people helping them outline steps and set a deadline to meet their goals. Entire blocks of families received inspiration for this year. That simple act of care is at times the inspiration people need to start a business, a youth program or buy their first car, with wisdom and a plan. We reached over 63 people and we are going to do more next month.

Worship/Music:
Being on the worship team at KCWC has caused me to be self-less and to work harder. Playing skillfully is necessary; playing the heart of God is essential. As He communicates to us, we communicate it to the world. Using the power of music, we create the atmosphere for Him to dwell in and release His love as we worship Him. Music is highly important in creating an atmosphere. In one instance music makes a party! It creates a mood of celebration. Family barbecues have music. People generally connect and enjoy building community and relationship. We dance, sing and enjoy high energy when the right song is played. My job is to make sure that Sunday morning includes just that.
We’ll also use music to express any given idea that God is into. That means setting the mood. You know, we have music for certain moods we want, for or a high energy concert or a special evening. God uses it just like we do for the affect. He’ll heal sickness in a body, perform a miracle or two or give comfort to those who secretly deal with abandonment. It gets to the issues that slip through the cracks. That’s the power of music.

I recently have moved from playing bass to guitar on the worship band. While the sound may be a little different, there is an entirely different palette to choose from in the energy created. I didn’t think I could even be capable of performing well…but it’s actually working out. Musically, my ear has entered a new world of mastery and I’m taking the people with me. God leads me to new places with new sounds and still I’m learning the depth and power of music. It gives life.

Furthermore, being a worship leader/musician is not much different than the preacher: we’re both expressing God as we operate in our gifts. During the week, the preparation, consecration and hash out the fine details of our crafts. My job includes the harmonies, melodies and creating the right atmosphere. Hearts are opened by the sound of the piano. People are receptive to the guitar and drums.

With people:
Ministry should teach patience, humility and sacrifice. You also gain maturity. Grow up! Yet, all the while I learned that God’s plan for anyone’s life is what will happen in the end. It’s easier not to fight it.

How deep is your love? Christ loved us even while we were His enemies and died. Do I do the same? Is my love that strong? I’m tested when I see people who have wronged me, but my reaction comes from my context with Him. He forgave so I can live. On the other hand, I know my faults; they’re not hidden from God. He’s the only one who can judge me, yet He has mercy. Who am I to dare not show love even to the worst of my enemies?

With myself:
As a person, I’ve learned to love myself. It starts with Forgiveness. And it’s the 1st step to a good life. We make mistakes and are presented with failures at not being able to achieve, gain respect with a group or live a certain lifestyle. So what? We don’t condemn babies and children for not speaking English correctly. Why do we destroy ourselves who are just as human? Instead, do as Jesus said. Humble yourself like a child and start loving yourself. Learn and grow. 🙂
Humility brings the patience you need to get to the next level. It always forges the right lifestyle. It helps you achieve goals that you once thought weren’t for you. I’m seeing the results in my own life.

My favorite verse this season has been Jeremiah 31:3 “I have drawn you with an everlasting love.” It’s weird how magnets can be polar opposites, yet they are so strongly drawn together. That is how God thinks of us.

The Benefit:
We recently sponsored a benefit at “The CENTRE.” It is our community organization that focus on these: “Feeds. Clothes. Educates.” People are suffering and in need of food, clothing and even counseling. This is what we plan on offering the community. The purpose of the event “The Benefit” was to raise awareness for the cause of saving San Bernardino. Business leaders community organizations, and friends & family came out to show their support for the vision and the hope that we believed in. Through the night we had speakers and many artist perform as part of what was truly an amazing show. Acts included The Corner Poets, Cherubim, Traxx, Rock Boy Fresh, Tim Manigault and many more. Everyone in attendance had the option to receive a tour of the building where we will soon hold our operations and the chance to donate and place their stamp on what will be the reason for change in San Bernardino. We raised money that will service people, families and the future business of organizations of San Bernardino.

To make this work I need your support. You make it possible to make a living for other people. Partner with me by giving a donation.

I Laugh In The Face of Danger

If this year was over, what would you say about it? 2012 was the year of establishment. This past year I nearly died looking for my calling. Walk with me and understand the severity of this. I nearly died trying to find the reason why I was alive. And though it seems drastic or extreme, everyone is supposed to. Why? Because everything you want in life is determined by who you really are., what you really want.

January 1, 2013. (Morning)

“I’m a Christian and I did a horrible thing. I made a mistake. I sinned. I slipped into some mess I had no business doing. I’m a sinner.”

January 1, 2013 (Evening)

“My mistake, which is bad, actually worked out quite well. I got to experience how to turn something that was bad into something…good.

January 1, 2013. (Morning)

I’m a musician and I made a mistake. On the last measure of my perfectly composed piece of music, my finger slipped and I played the wrong note. My dreams of perfection were shattered.

January 1, 2013. (Evening) I had no idea how a mistake would work for my good, but it did, because that finger slipping turned out to be what would be the end for some, a new dimension and extension of the music I was creating, and it was beautiful.
That mistake, could have caused me to quit playing. But, my mind grabbed something that it saw as pleasing, delightful, desirable.

Get it. Get what I’m saying. Your bar of music, your song, your life is determined by what you do with your mistakes. Do you understand that you can keep going and make a good life using that very mistake you made? Do you understand that the decisions you make are no doubt in your life, but are designed to make you unique? Your story, your purpose, your achievements, your accolades. It’s all by you COMPLETING that piece of music you may call “a mistake.”

It turns out, life is full of these little incidents, these notes and tones. Like life, music doesn’t stop because I played a so called “wrong note,” else we’d NEVER enjoy R&B, Hip-Hop, Jazz, Funk, Classical or even Pop music. You’d never embrace things like  slang, basketball, dance, culture, literature, relationships, or comedy. You’ wouldn’t know to enjoy the roots of Reggae and how it’s related to Ska, or the evolution of Ballet into Modern dance. You’d never know of the light bulb and you definitely would not appreciate the many different recipes on the menu when you go out to eat.

Outlook: Your life is worth living. Your mistakes make good music.

Don’t be afraid of the song you write.

Make mistakes. Make new music. Make a song. Make your life. And make it good!

Deceit’s Receipt: Redeemed

For the past year I’ve been walking around hurting. Not physically, not no broken bones either. I’ve just been hurting. Gravity seemed to push down on my life twice as hard as the rest of the world, and my head hung low as a result. From what? Did anyone know? Sure. Did anyone connect? They tried. Some got through, some just fell through the cracks. But I was still bleeding from a broken heart.

What happened?

Deception. I was tricked into believing the worst of myself because of my status in life. I kept making mistakes, moving from job to job, destroying relationships and not living up to what I thought I should be. I was just sitting here, my life not seeming to go anywhere. Worst of all, I was ruled by emotions. One day I was up, the next day was miserable. I didn’t know how to fight. Depression came in the form of self-abasement and I thought the worst of myself. It hurt especially being around people who knew their worth, value, had some kind of plan for their life and walked with grace. I tried to find something for myself. I was scrambling, not to keep up, but to stand up.

You’ve heard this before: “I’m trying.” That was me. I didn’t know what to look for but what I was presented with looked good: depression (self-abasement) worthlessness, imperfection, pride, jealousy, unforgiveness, a lack of identity, and fear. Thinking it was right, I identified with these things, because “I’ve messed up so this is what I DESERVE.” I didn’t know who I was or where I was going and when I looked to God, I could not let go of the worry. I just had to have some control, get some answer, so when He would speak and literally give me the answer, it wasn’t what I wanted or expected to hear, and so I sank deeper with the problems He was trying to bury.

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The pain was all I could identify with. Little did I know, I fell from grace. I was deceived like Eve. So here’s what it looked like.

Fear –  a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined

Pride – pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself

Jealousy – feeling resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages

Depression – severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over a period of time and accompanied by feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy; self-abasement

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See the cycle? I finally heard an inspiring message from Jaquet Dumas called “If It Walks Like A Duck.” Two quotes that spoke so powerfully to me. The first, by her, said “”Well if we can’t change the things we’ve been through we certainly can change the way we deal with them.” The second was by a Holocaust survivor that said “forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and realizing the prisoner was you.” Wow. Not done. She further explained about no one has to pay for the wrong things I’ve done. I realized that God truly forgave me. He doesn’t hate me and I don’t have hate myself.

Then, this Wednesday, a breath of fresh air. My eyes were opened to see the the self-hate and the condemnation I placed on myself. It came when I tried to forgive someone else and realized, I didn’t forgive myself. Jaquet said “I have a new context.” My relationship with Christ reminded me of my failures and that I am forgiven of them all. It taught me how to forgive others and forgive myself. I just had to believe. And now I do. So I don’t hate myself anymore. I believe, hope and trust in God in a whole new way and see light in my future. I’m sure He has a plan that I’ll love.

So I set this in order, you will not be deceived by your circumstances or failures. You will move forward. You can forgive yourself and others, because you were forgiven. Don’t be scared of being condemned or looked down because the perfection comes by realizing you’re not perfect, and that’s what Jesus came for. No more existing in a living hell. I offer to you what was offered to me. Jesus.

Prayer: Jesus, I need you. I’m not perfect. I’m not. But I now know you love me and removed my mistakes from me. I’m going to believe the best for myself, because You made it possible. I believe I’m forgiven and loved and that You died and rose. Be the Lord of my life.
Action: It’s you! The royalty and divine nature is in you. You are royalty and you’re in Christ. Romans 8:1 says there is now no condemnation for those in Christ. Stop living in condemnation, and LOVE. Live life and be confident. Be righteous. Be yourself.

I’m starting a movement. ThinkIt. To free people in their minds. Join me.